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You CAN Do It

Initially, until I first learned about my initials in early childhood,I never thought much about them. What was the point? I could spell my first and last name (Chris Newcomb) with ease and did so regularly. Still do.

Ah, but the elusive, never used, often imitated but never duplicated middle name has always been like the kid who gets drafted to the basketball team as the waterboy. He’s on the team but not really all that important outside of handing out Gatorade cups to the kids that matter who actually play basketball. Middle school is rough.

My middle name is Arrington. I get varied responses such as:

• Wow, family name?
• I never heard of that one before!
• Sounds uppity. Very British.
• You must belong to a country club.
• Hoity Toity.
• Sounds like a royal name.

But the best part about my name is the initials they create!

• Christopher (C)
• Arrington (A)
• Newcomb (N)
• C-A-N = CAN

See what I did there? Yes, that is why the one word is capitalized in our title, dear reader.

To me, my initials in the 1980’s were the stuff of legend, the maker’s of video game glory. I was a video game aficionado and semi-professional player, in my own mind, whose mission was to defeat high scores everywhere JUST so I could digitally brag by putting in my initials CAN. However, I did not consider that other observers of the highest score list may have interpreted “CAN” as someone with an affinity for aluminum objects that hold liquid. What are you gonna do? Some people are far from the correct perceptive.

My initials are a verb! My initials are also a noun! And most importantly, my initials speak to possibilities.

In the work of peer support, specialists are called to walk alongside another peer who desires life change in some way, shape, or form. Often, this work includes hearing life stories (a.k.a. vignettes of vulnerability). Each story is a signature imprint of a peer’s life. It is their monogram.

If we look at a monogram, it is made up of 3 characters: First. Middle. Last. Events in our life always have a beginning, a middle and, at some point, an ending. Such is the case with peer work. Peers present a life conundrum that definitely has a beginning and a middle and oftentimes through peer work the end of the conundrum arrives with a beautiful transformation for the peer in question.

Next time you are providing services with another peer, ask them for their full name. Then talk with them about their name and how they feel about their name. Inquire about their initials. Do they like them? Do they spell a word? People love to be asked about themselves and one of the best ways to get to know someone and get them to open up is to ask them about their name. It gives you permission to go deeper quicker. By acknowledging someone’s name, you are acknowledging the very essence of who they are and honoring someone’s essence goes very far in creating safety and trust to allow space for vulnerability as part of a healing conversation(s).

You CAN do this, I promise! Now find a video game and put your initials in to complete your victory. Wait. It’s not 1985. Scratch that.